my words.

i'm sure most of you thought i forgot about you or fell off the face of the earth, but assure you neither of those are true. one thing i've come to realize in month and a half hiatus from blogging is that sometimes, life is far too grand--too complicated to put into written words (or maybe i'm just not good at it). i will be honest and tell you that i've sat at this computer numerous times in hopes to convey to you my life, my process, my adventures. but with each blink of the cursor--the words left me. what i wish the most is that you could be here with me. to see the sights and smell the smells. to dialouge about adventures and share dreams. there are days where i think of you often, what we would do in this moment, how you would react to what just happened. most of all--i wish my words could show you how much i think of you sharing the city with me.

its midnight here and i'm exhausted. i've been packing. yes, you read that right...packing. i am moving to a different part of brooklyn--a better part. when you move to new york your standard of living becomes increasingly lowered, whether you want it to be or not. you could live in a horrible "hood" with a great place, or a tiny box in a refined neighborhood. i chose the first, but after 4 months, i needed something new. i'm getting used to living out of suitcases, the whole vagabond traveler makes me feel incredibly bohemian. i am moving to a place called greenpoint brooklyn, directly next to williamsburg (hipster capitol of the world). my neighborhood is a huge polish area with most of the hipsters spilling over. its got a great mainstreet with a starbucks (kelsey! on the corner! how perfect?) and a rite aid, banks, food, you name it--its there. huge change from where i was. its cleaner, nicer, and i have wood floors. a real new york staple. i move tomorrow morning. 930am i will now call the "G" train, my train. so long "JMZ" train and amazing view of manhattan on the way to work...hello underground polish community.

i so badly want to tell you how often i run into cool celebrities and such...but i have dubbed myself the reality tv star finder extraordinaire! i see americas next top model divas, project runway trannies, shear genius cutters, and so on. the only celebrity i've waved and said hello to is allison janney (famously known for her role as the stepmom in JUNO). i wish i was cool as my friend meg who lives here who's seen people from usher to lindsay lohan. but no...never so lucky.

its getting COLD. and not just like cold....i mean my bones are chilled cold. i love it so much, and fall really is beautiful here. changing leaves, the beautiful clear skies, the incredible sunsets. so much to soak in and love. i can't wait for thanksgiving when my twin comes. jaime, you're going to love it. i've still not seen the met yet, totally waiting for you.

*i would love to send you a postcard, so please, email me your address (kerrycass@gmail.com). thank you josh and tina for your heartwarming gifts. you have no idea how much i loved them.

*books i've read so far in nyc: the shack, extremely loud and incredibly close, a freewheelin' time: bob dylan memoir, a tree grows in brooklyn (reading it now). i love that i read so much in this city!

*i'm sure you're all waiting for pictures. but this post in picture-less. i'm sorry, but i promise to update as soon as im settled in my new place and pictures will be in abundance.

*i hope you're registered to vote! do it!

all my love,

k.

my process.

the last few weeks have been full of tears, growth, laughs, love, and visits from friends.

***

life part one:: in the last week or so i read a book called 'the shack' by william young. sounds like a cheesey stephen king novel, right? just wait until you read the back of the book--it sounds like an award winning Christian self help book (sarcasm). for the first time i was challenged to not judge a book by its cover. i saw the author on the today show and i felt like i needed to read the book. i picked up the book and went through it in a few days. needless to say this book has wrecked me and changed me. its hard to get into with words because i don't think i can express myself well in written form. but i'll just say a lot of healing has been going on in my life, and i've learned a lot about relationships, growth, and love. i say you pick it up--you just might need it.

friends:: so i'm bummed i'm not at home in california to see the sisterhood of the traveling pants movie. oh that's right, judge all you want! i just wish i was there to see it with you TINA!!! makes me miss you a whole lot girl.

speaking of friends...i am so thankful i've been able to see friends. sorry jon i didn't have my camera with me when you were out here. but i wish we had more then a few hours to hang out! i miss you already. Tobreah and Jenn Nelson came out to visit and it was fun to catch them! Jenn i'm glad you're coming back in 3 weeks! it's also awesome to have Kelsey and Megan living here! yay for friends!

tobreah and me

jenn and me

jenn and kelsey

angela, me, and megan

work:: i am truly thankful for my job. i work with a great family on the upper east side and i enjoy going to work everyday. i work with the most adorable 3 month old and one and a half year old. here is a picture of ben, the one and a half year old.

life part two:: we have been having really amazing weather. its been sunny days and low humidity and reminds me a lot of california. while out with megan, i took a few photos of the day. picture 1 is the empire state building. picture 2 and 3 are outside by union square.

outside my apartment there is a smart car. a red smart car. angela (my roomate) and i absolutely love it. it's so adorable and tiny. here it is!

what i'm excited for::

1. the olympics: i'm obsessed with the summer olympics. my favorite sports are: all swimming events, gymnastics, track and field sports, and THE TRAMPOLINE. that's right. look it up. also, i'm excited to watch michael phelps swim his little heart out.

2. summer being over so it can be FALL!

***

i'm still waiting for california phone calls and visits. don't think i'm not talking about you :)

cheers!

k.

my first 2 months in NYC:: in pictures.

There are so many pictures that i could post, but i'm going to put major ones up just so you can get a glimpse!

Target:: there are 2 targets in NYC, both hard to get to. Heather and I decided to make the trek to the Brooklyn Target. Because there are only 2 targets, people are insane and CLEAN OUT the stores. I wanted body wash but the shelves were empty. People are everywhere and its a madhouse in there. Heather and I made it out alive saying "worst target experience ever, but at least we were at target."

Food:: you can get just about any type of food here in nyc. Especially broccoli pizza. What?! I ate pizza and had my veggies for the day.

Adventures:: Heather and I do a lot of those. Mostly wandering and find a new food place or cool buildings. This is right on 42nd street and it was real pretty.

Rockefeller Center:: This is very cool place. Very asthetically pleasing. You see the umbrellas down there at the botton? Well they are shading people eating and sitting at tables and chairs. BUT! In the winter this is transformed into the infamous ice skating rink and the huge Christmas tree is here! I hope some of you can come and see this with me!

Strawberry Fields:: When Heaven and her sister Crystal came out we decided to spend the afternoon in Central Park at the John Lennon memorial called "strawberry fields." It was a humid day, hence why we look just worked from the heat. But we sat, talked, enjoyed the people watching, and listened to music from a bum with a boombox.

Serendipity:: Seen the movie? Yeah, me too and I hated it. But the place where it takes place, Serendipity is devine. Its a kitschy place with AMAZING dessert. They are known for their FROZEN hot chocolate. And let me tell you, its like to die for. We then all decided to have a slice of "humble pie" (thanks jason mraz) and that was a peice of like peanut butter pie with chocolate, whipped cream, and bananas---i about died. Joanie (beth's friend) and I took Megan (Joanie's friend) there for her birthday. The first girl is Megan, the second is Joanie. I love these girls! Aftewards we walked to Dylan's Candy Store and saw the Project Runway dresses from the Hershey candy challenge from last season. So here I am looking fierce with Christan's dress!!!

Friends:: I meet a new friend every week. A friend of a friend, someone in the subway, whatever! So hear are some of the awesome gals I hang out with: Andrea, JD, and Emily. We are going to the premiere of Shear Genius because Emily works at Arrojo Studio which is where one of the contestants Nicole works at.

Books:: Reading is almost essential in this town. When you're on the subway you're either listening to your ipod, reading a book, or sleeping. Basically, you just don't want to bother anyone or be bothered. Heather and I decided since we were in NYC we should read a new Bob Dylan memoir to set the tone. I picked up this book and read it in 3 sittings. Now I'm excited to buy David Sedari's new book, and read a new book called 'The Shack' that I saw on the Today show.

I hope these keep you entertained for a bit. NYC is going well, and I am blessed to have good people around me.

Cheers!

a freewheelin' time.

I never thought i would be so bad at something like updating a blog. Things here in nyc have been a bit crazy--so I wanted to make sure that I had a little stability before writing again. Fair warning, I'm going to just talk about the major events happening, I will try to write smaller adventures in another blog as to not overwhelm you.


Job.
I should just start out with the biggest event that has happened to me, although it isn't a happy one. The woman that I was working with and I have decided to part ways. I wish I could tell you the reason why, but unfortunately---there isn't a real reason that makes a whole lot of sense. What it boils down to is that her and I just weren't the right fit, and I believe that God was on my side on this. I have recently found a nannying job with a really solid family on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. The mom is from San Diego and lived in Newport Beach, she also up and moved out here one day at 27 years old. We instantly had a connection. She has 2 kids, and a very sweet and sincere husband. The vibe in this household is laid back, down to earth, and the mom is still a California girl down at heart. I pray that this goes well for the time being. I am still looking into private schools and teaching for the fall. For now, I am content.

NYC Friends.
I have so many different types of people that I know here, and friends are so spread out. I am really trying to make some lasting connections and friendships here. New Yorkers are good about getting together and hanging out, but I want to make sure that I am pursuing the right friendships and spending my time in the best way with them. I am so thankful for my roomate Angela, Heather, and Shiloh---without them in this city, I would be a mess.

CALIFORNIA Friends.
Alright listen you guys and gals, I miss you-- alot. There are so many things I wish some of you could see/do/experience with me! Sabrina and Dominica came out almost 2 weeks ago, and that was wonderful even though it was just a bit of siteseeing and dinner. It was so refreshing to have people who come from the same place as you, just having dinner in a big crazy city. I love those girls! Miss Beth Vanboxtel came out on a business trip this past Monday and Tuesday and we decided to do NYC in 2 days. She did a pretty great job seeing so much in so little time. When then crashed at her hotel for the night and we just talked and talked. I loved it. Sean is coming Thursday, so excited! For the rest of you "I want to come visit you in NYC!" let's make it happen, people! I have some bids on some weeks in October, November, and for New Years.

Church.
I've been to 2 different churches here, and of course, they are no rockharbor. But I am learning that church on the west coast, and church on the east coast are very different. I might try out another 1 or 2, but I think Angela's (my roomate) church has me feeling the most comfortable and safe so far. I just pray I find a good community of people who are willing to invest in me as I am them.


Things I find different here in NYC then in California:

* Pedestrians walk before they look. A person will be halfway in the street before they look to see if a car is coming--which most of the time it is.

*Alcohol. People drink a lot out here. It's almost...what you do. I mean, I've never had beer in my refridgerator before, and now I do. Everytime you go out to dinner, its just normal to drink. It's like having a coke, or drinking water.

*There is only 1 trader joes. 1!!!! At least its not far from me, but still.

*Air conditioner is not a luxury, its a necessity.



This is all for now. My next post will have fun pictures of all of these events. This is just to tide you over until then. I will try to get those pictures up in the next few days.


Cheers!

K.

c'est la vie

Brooklyn Life:
I am really blessed to live with Angela. She reminds me of all of the amazing friends I have back home. She is also one of the funniest people I've ever met. Subway rides with her are something else. Willamsburg is central to hipsters and cool kid s. I've never felt so uncool in my entire life. I say this half-joklingly of course because really, most of the people here are just like me: artistic, into film, passionate the world and politics. But being around here has helped me realize that I've only put a dent in the amount of knowledge I know about the world around me. I love that I learn something new everyday.

*billboard in williamsburg, brooklyn. saw it the other day!*

Manhattan Life:
"Let's go out for dinner and drinks." I hear this phrase daily. Everyone goes out to dinner, everyone drinks. Lunch, Dinner, Happy Hour, After Hours, beers, wine, cocktails. I just have never had so many drinks before. It's natural to drink a beer with lunch instead of water, or a coke. Since no one drives, everyone has at it. Let's talk about men for a second. (if you are male, feel free to tune out for the next few lines). In my experience this far, men in NYC are sweet, helpful, educated, and cultured. They look at you in the eye, they hold open doors. It's just a different vibe I get from them entirely.

*picture of union square. this a new fav. place of mine!*

Hamptons Life:
I'm probably the only person in the world who says "...ugh, the Hamptons again?" I just feel distant from everyone when I go out there. I don't have any friends, I don't know anyone. When I get down time and I want to enjoy the water/view/scenery I just imagine myself with my friends here. I get bored easily, and I can't wait to be back in the city. It's just different for me. The Hamptons is work for me--not a vacation.

*this is the Tribeca apartment of the people I work for, well just the living room!*

Friendships:
I have friends from all over. Brooklyn, Manhattan, Queens. I am slowly trying to fuse these people together into one group--so I'm not constantly going out every night of the week just to see one friend. The one on one time is something I'm not used to often, so it is great to do so, but when I'm taking the subway 4 times a day to meet 2 different people, it gets very exhausting. NYC makes you work at friendships--that's for sure. I do miss all of my amazing friends, and daily I say "oh it'd be so amazing if so and so where here seeing this with me right now!" I hope people visit.

*i'm glad shiloh lives in brooklyn too!*

Music, food, the nightlife:
The music scene here is fantastic. I saw Rilo Kiley last night and a fabulous venue and it ruled my life. It was such a great show. I swear things just TASTE better here in NYC. Nightlife here is interesting--reminds me a lot of home. But let's just say these 3 things must be monitored or else you'll be broke.

Walking and the Subway:
Yeah I'm just goint to say it, I hate walking. I will probably never get used to it. I miss my car. I miss driving around. I don't care what anyone in NYC says, walking is lame. I mean sure I'm like already losing weight because I walk so much, but seriously. When someone says "oh its just 4 blocks away" ask them STREETS or AVENUES? And if they say avenues, they really mean 8 blocks away. 8 long blocks. The subway still is amazing to me. Sure it gets crowded, hot, smelly, and sometimes you wait like 15 mins...but it doesn't beat the people watching. The attractive men, the cute kids that dance, the guys who walk from sub car to sub car playing music in order to make rent, the books you can read, the music can listen to, the conversations that you have. I enjoy it!

*the M train @ midnight! (i like to say its my train because its the one I ride the most!)*

Things I miss:
leading life group
Rockharbor
momma kelsey
jaimeleacass
friends friends friends
teaching
the beach
sitting around and talking with the crew
driving a car

in the words of miss jenny lewis....

I'm a modern girl but i fold in half so easily

When i put myself in the picture of success

I could learn world trade

Or try to map the ocean

They say california is a recipe for a black hole

And i say i've got my best shoes on

...I'm ready to go.

my first day.

::where do i even begin? there's so much to say and i don't know how to put it. nyc is by far the most crazy yet amazing city i've ever been to. the hustle and bustle of the streets alone are overwhelming.

::my roomate is truly God-given. she's taken me by the hand and shown me how to ride the metro. that in itself is a heavenly gesture. the metro is confusing, weird, and interesting. its crammed, convenient, and people sing and dance on it to. you get the attravtice businessmen and the ever so fantastic urban outdoorsman (aka homeless).

*story time* so my first day in the city, angela (roomate) wants to get off the metro at 42nd/Bryant Park. As I make my first few steps up from the metro and into the city, we emerge to see Bryant Park and it is beautiful. as i'm tearing up, angela and i grab hands and venture into the park. i absolutely love it there. green, full of people, a fountain, and just the park is surrounded by huge buildings. it was incredible.

::my neighborhood is puerto ricans, hipsters, and the normal causcasion sprinkled in here and there. brooklyn is a pretty cool place to live in, if i do say so myself. we have a popeye's chicken and a dollar store on the corner--so legit. shiloh says that there is no places like mine anywhere else. the fact that we have carpet, huge bedrooms and closets and 2 bathrooms makes our place like a mansion apparently. my landlady made a cheesecake for my arrival...from scratch. yeah, i'm in love.

::the family that i'm working for lives in GORGEOUS Tribeca. the elevator doors are the doors to their house. how insane is that. they are down to earth and fantastic. i get to see the gallery next week. tomorrow we are off to the Hamptons until Tuesday morning. yeah i guess i can't complain about that.

here are some pictures for your enjoyment!

Bryant Park

Tribeca

My stop to go home on the M train

cheers!

k.

I want to be a part of it, New York, New York

As I sit here, almost completely packed, I am overwhelmed.


The going away party was a mix of old memories, present friends, and the ringing in of new beginnings. The beach house was the perfect setting to say my goodbyes, and I was filled with love. I truly love the life I have here, and coming back to it will be wonderful.

I will miss...

-singing the hills theme song with kels
-sushi and a-cup
-getting my hair done by tina
-parties at the beach house
-the lbc
-jaimers and murk
-my teaching colleagues
-summers here in oc
-gypsy den
-driving around aimlessly with julie

The list can continue for days. I will miss california. I will miss my friends. Here's to adventures, cheers!

These vagabond shoes
Are longing to stray
And make a brand new start of it
New York, New York
I want to wake up in the city that never sleeps
To find I'm king of the hill, top of the heap
These little town blues
Are melting away
I'll make a brand new start of it
In old New York.